Hey hon….

Hey hon! 😁  I know we haven’t talked since high school when I kept trying to get you to 💪  enlist, but I actually discovered this whole new #Weapons💪 #Opportunity I think you would be 🔥 perfect🔥 for! 

I know, I know you said you need to save money for…was it healthcare? But once you join my #GirlBossGang with my friends Boeing and Raytheon I know you’ll start seeing real results in your life! It’s only a few billion here and there, but think about your security! When ICBM first started they gave up, but now they’re working their way back to the top in this EPIC #ArmsRace🎯!! Just last year our favorite set of twins, Northrup and Grummond, signed ANOTHER💰 billion-dollar💰 contract! And the best part? If you can’t deliver on time, there’s always more money to be had.

I’m sure you have tons of questions, but don’t worry! There are only 27 weapons manufacturers 😁 and they’ve been doing this for decades 🙌 ! Don’t worry about where the money is going to come from or who’s going to clean up after! Right now, we just want to focus on being the 💪 biggest, 💪 baddest nuclear-armed country in the world! 

This is all about YOUR journey babe! That’s why we made sure that the same people writing the checks for these weapons are the ones making them! We cut the middle man out all for you! Just sign on the dotted line each tax season and reap the rewards of these TOP🔥 SHELF🔥 TROUBLEMAKERS🔥! 

I can already tell you’re a patriot who loves their country, so of course, you know that the more nuclear weapons we have, the safer we are! You have the 😁 #passion! All we need to get going is 1.7 Trillion dollars 💸 for your modernization starter kit! This is your business though, so it might cost more down the line. Just think about #Deterrence💪 and remember you’re #Blessed🤑

Don’t let any🚨 nay-sayers🚨 get you down! Just trust the process that has been working for seventy five years! After all, who needs healthcare when the rest of the world lives in fear of you?

P.S: Not interested in funding weapons we don’t need? Write your representative here!